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Saturday, January 18, 2003

The Rip Off Report Weird #2

"Last summer my boyfriend took me and my kids to Disney California Adventure. We used the valet parking, the one where the characters park your cars for you. Instead of parking yourself in for example "P" for Pinocchio to claim your car you tell them Pinocchio parked your car and that's how they find it, etc.

"Anyways as I was saying our car was parked by Jiminy Cricket. I thought I saw him smoking a cigarette and our car did smell like smoke but I didn't push it, namely because of the bigger problem. When we returned the rental car we noticed the odometer had 1000 extra miles on it. We had unlimited mileage so it was cool, we weren't out any money, but... what the hell is going on at Disneyland that their characters are tearing through Anahiem in my car?"
posted at 7:04 PM

Weird #1 at The Rip Off Report When I cross that river, the trees they will bow down, down, and the blue and green sky will open up to me, and the fire will be my wind, and the moon will be my rest, and the earth will be my farm, and the cherries will be my labours, and the Vitamin E's, be wit' me twice a day, and the pinks and purples be a part of me day, and the wet naps, and orange containers, pine needles, wet naps and de charcoal too, in my very own hands, everywhere, forever.
posted at 6:33 PM

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

ORANGE COUNTY WEEKLY OC Weekly: Cover: They’re Here, They’re Queer, They’re Armed
"Thirty-one states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them," Jonathan Rauch wrote in Salon in March 2000. "They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible."
posted at 7:44 PM

Monday, January 13, 2003

Miami DJs say they fooled Venezuelan Chief

MIAMI (AP) - Two radio show hosts who use jumbled recordings of Fidel Castro to trick callers into believing they're talking with the Cuban president say they have duped another victim - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

Venezuelan officials said Tuesday they could not immediately verify the call, but a recording provided by the Cuban-American radio announcers contains a voice that sounds like Chavez.

The tape appears to have Chavez, who is struggling to end a month-old national strike by opponents, happily answering what he thought would be a friendly call Monday morning from Castro, one of his closest allies.

But on the other end of the line were WXDJ-FM disc jockeys Joe Ferrero and Enrique Santos, who ended the conversation by calling Chavez "terrorist" and "animal," along with a few expletives.

posted at 10:44 PM

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex
"Meanwhile, tens of millions of sperm swarm in the air over Metropolis...."
posted at 6:18 PM

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