Jupiter9

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Thursday, September 25, 2003

Ernie's House of Whoop Ass Dot Com
A true NASCAR fan.
posted at 12:21 PM

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Covering the Cops
by Calvin Trillin
'Edna has covered a few thousand murders by now, and she's seen a couple of most things. She has done stories about a man who was stabbed to death because he stepped on somebody's toes on his way to a seat in a movie theatre and about a two-year-old somebody tried to frame for the murder of a playmate and about an eighty-nine-year-old man who was arrested for beating his former wife to death and about a little boy killed by a crocodile. She has done stories about a woman who committed suicide because she couldn't get her leaky roof fixed and about a newspaper deliveryman who committed suicide because during a petroleum shortage he couldn't get enough gasoline. She has done stories about a man who managed to commit suicide by stabbing himself in the heart twice and about a man who threw a severed head at a police officer twice. She has done a story about two brothers who killed a third brother because he interrupted a checkers game. ("I thought I had the best-raised children in the world," their mother said.) She has done a story about a father being killed at the surprise birthday party given for him by his thirty children. She has done a story about a man who died because fourteen of the eighty-two double-wrapped condom packages of cocaine he tried to carry into the country inside his stomach began to leak. ("His last meal was worth $30,000 and it killed him.") She has done any number of stories about bodies being discovered in the bay by beachcombers or fishermen or University of Miami scientists doing marine research. (" 'It's kind of a nuisance when you plan your day to do research on the reef,' fumed Professor Peter Glynn, of the university's Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Science.") Talking to Edna one day about murder cases they had worked on, a Metro-Dade homicide detective said, "In Dade County, there are no surprises left."'
posted at 4:48 PM

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Wired News: Uncovering the Napster Kitty Ads:
"'It's coming back,' say the stickers -- meaning Napster, of course.
"But the posters defaced by Napster's stickers aren't real. They are realistic, subtle parodies featuring companies like Gour-Mutt, a gourmet dog food company, or Drop 'n' Go, a child day-care center.
"Contributing to the patina of realism, the stickers have been glued to the posters -- not printed on -- stuck over the heads of characters in the ad, as though they have kitty heads. Cleverly, only a few of the posters in any given matrix have a Napster sticker stuck to them. "
posted at 1:00 AM

Rant: Medieval Fans
"You think we all just sit around jousting all day? We’re too busy coughing up blood, believe you me. And if not that, we’re scrambling around trying to figure out why the Good Lord chose to set fire to the warehouse. I’ve had a blister for eight years. My aunt’s a leper. I sleep near a goat. Go to hell, Medieval fans."
posted at 12:30 AM

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